As a foster carer, one of your biggest concerns might be finding ways to make a foster child feel welcome in your home and part of your family. You’ll want to welcome them without overwhelming them. You’ll be keen to start enjoying life with them, but mindful of respecting their privacy as they settle in. It can be a tricky balance to strike. Here are some tips to help you.
Don’t Let Yourself Get Carried Away
You might be excited about meeting a new child and learning more about them. Rushing at them with wide open arms and a barrage of introductions, questions, and plans will only overwhelm them. Remind yourself to be calm and patient with new arrivals.
Avoid Overloading Them with Questions
It’s normal to have questions but take your time asking them. Try to fit them into a conversation and ask open questions so the child has a chance to talk and confide in you. Don’t interrogate them.
Be Careful with Your Body Language
Even very young children pick up on body language. They might arrive with closed body language, folding their arms to protect themselves and avoiding eye contact. Make sure you aren’t doing the same. Make eye contact when possible, smile at them and keep your upper body open. They might not be ready for a cuddle, but open body language will let them know it’s available whenever they are.
Think About Their Bedroom Carefully
A safe bedroom is crucial for foster children. Make sure they have some space just for them, with things like bookshelves and books, teddies and toys, a lamp and nightlight and soft bedding.
Be Prepared
As a foster carer, you won’t always get a lot of notice that a child is about to arrive. Things can change quickly, and it can be hard to provide a welcoming and safe atmosphere if caught off guard. Make sure you are prepared with training and support from Foster Care Associates, a prepared bedroom and a few basic supplies so that you are always ready when called upon.
Talk to Them About Things They Like
All children are different, which can make things like mealtimes tricky. If possible, find out about allergies and dislikes before they arrive, but either way, make sure you sit with them to talk about food as soon as possible. Ask about their favourite snacks, drinks, and meals, and try incorporating them into your meal plans where possible.
Talk About Names
Introduce yourself with the name that you want to be called. Most foster carers and children use first names, but some might naturally use ‘mum’ and ‘dad’; you should let them if they want to. Ask them what name they want to go by without automatically assuming it’s their birth name.
Include Them in Family Routines
If your family have routines like bedtimes, mealtimes, family games night, and movie night, try to stick to them, including your foster child. This is perhaps the best way to make them feel part of things.
Fostering is a fantastic thing to do for a child, with a whole range of benefits for you and the other members of your family. Helping a foster child to feel welcome and at home will help you all get started on the right foot, ready to enjoy your time together as a family.
