You fire up your social media and see that a dozen friends have posted pictures of their wedding. Yes, you are at that age and you can already hear the voice of the people in your extended family telling you – ab teri baari. It can get really stressful. But there are other ways that you are being pressurized and sometimes, you do not even realize it.
Here are 5 ways extended family members pressurize to get married –
- You are constantly reminded of your age
When you are creating a profile on one of the Indian matrimonial sites, there are fewer people involved but when you meet someone at a family wedding, it is a little different. There will always be that one aunt who will say, “When I was your age, I was already married with kids.” You may end up rolling your eyes but you know what the underlying message is. The attempt at subtlety is not the strongest suit among Indians.
- You are constantly reminded about friends getting married
When you are talking to an elder in the house, they suddenly remind you of your peers getting married. Then suddenly they ask you why you are still single. This question comes out of nowhere. You are stumped! They have clean bowled you like Bumrah.
- You have to meet someone every weekend
The only information given to you is that they have a good family background, they are well-off and they belong to our community. In Indian terms, this is the trifecta that everyone aims for. Besides, meeting new people more often will only increase your chances of finding someone. You cannot argue with that logic; it is as logical as 2 following.
- Your other accomplishments are belittled
Whether you get a promotion within six months of your new job or create something amazing out of your passion for something, it can never equate to the accomplishment of getting married. It may seem a bit unfair but it wasn’t long ago that Sania Mirza, who has several Grand Slam titles to her name, was asked a question like ‘When are you going to settle down.’
- Asking how serious it is with your new boyfriend/ girlfriend
If you are dating someone new, people assume that those holy matrimony bells are ringing for sure! You are constantly asked if it is serious and if you have any plans of marrying them any time soon. Of course, the intentions are not malicious but the pressure is strong.
It is a different world today. And thank goodness for that. There are different ways to deal with this pressure.
A few are listed below:
- Create your own life plan
It is your life so create a vision board of your life and decide what you want your life to look like in the future. Only you get to call the shots, even if it is about signing up for one of the Indian matrimonial sites. Once you have planned your goals, you are bound to follow them.
- Communicate with your family constantly
This one may be a little difficult but very important. You have to constantly engage in a conversation with your family without being defensive. Fighting with the family will get you nowhere.
- Stay firm in your beliefs
Many a times, people tend to give in to family pressure and get married. This is not advisable. Marriage is a lifetime commitment so it is necessary to tie the knot only when you are ready. So stick to your beliefs and make your life decisions accordingly.
- Don’t cut off with family and friends
The mounting pressure sometimes may get too much to bear and you may end up cutting out the people that matter to you the most with the aim of avoiding all conversation regarding marriage. It is best not to do that. After all, they mean well. So have a conversation with them and explain what your thoughts are in a calm fashion.
- Keep yourself busy
Idle minds lead to all sorts of evil thoughts and actions. Keep a busy schedule. Take up a class, follow a hobby, plan regular trips with friends or even set a goal to get a promotion at work. You will be too busy to notice the pressures.
- Move to another city
It may sound a drastic move but may feel like the right choice at the time. The distance will give you the chance to think about your life and what you want from it. A clear mind will also put you in the right frame of mind to make any decisions related to marriage.
Everyone feels the pressure of marriage at some point of their lives. It is how you deal with it that matters the most. So use the above tools to steer your life in the right directions while also keeping open communication channels with your family. You do not have to be mad at them, after all, apne toh apne hote hai.
